Tips for parental response to community-based trauma

In response to the shooting on Tuesday (12.11.12) at Clackamas Town Center, one of my staff, Jessica Boldt, LICSW, wrote an article on ways in which parents can help their kids & teens recover.  I have cut and pasted it below:

Traumatic events, such as the tragic account at Clackamas, impact all of us in unique ways including children and teens. Parents are often worried regarding the affect it will have on their child and are unsure as to how to help them. We hope that this information will assist parents feel relieved in having concrete tools to assist support their child during this time, and know the one may exhibit that indicate a need for greater resources.

An important thing to remember is that youth are often highly resilient even after extreme duress. A child or adolescent’s reaction to stress, even catastrophic, is usually brief in duration and symptoms of trauma are often a healthy indicator of one’s efforts to stabilize. Parents should also consider that the impact may affect teens in a unique way as the mall is often viewed as a safe place for youth, and one that represents belonging and socialization.  It’s likely helpful for teens to process with other peers and discuss how this event likely altered the perception of this meeting place they find comfort in. Teens should be encouraged to visit the mall when they, and parents feel stable enough to cope with the “triggers” of the event. Teens are also likely to feel strong and secure in numbers, so going to the mall with another teen may be encouraged. Also, making “baby steps” into this environment is something that may assist a teen with feelings of anxiety. For example, making the first trip with friends to one store may be more manageable for a teen that wants to go to the mall, but is having some reservation.  It’s also important to note that teens may want to go directly back into the mall environment, which may be their way of healing. Whatever process your child feels comfortable in, make consistent efforts to monitor behavior and mood and discuss their best efforts to move forward.

Directly following trauma, it is expected that children and teens may exhibit agitated or confused behavior.  They also may show through behavior, play, or in verbal communication intense fear, helplessness, anger, sadness, horror or avoidance. Parents may experience their child having increase in behavioral outbursts, mood swings, fear of being alone or “clingy” behavior, or isolation. While seeing your child in these states can be difficult, these are indicators that one is working to process the event.

While a parent cannot “make the event go away,” a parent can assist the child work through their feelings by maintaining the child’s structure. The child needs to regain their sense of safety and parents are the best at doing that. Parents are able to do this by:

·      following the household daily routine

·      gentle encouragement to participate in their normative activities to assist them regain normalcy

·      engagement with positive supports such as family and teachers, 

·      practicing self-care for themselves to assure emotional and mental stability with them, providing positive outlets to discharge some of the energy following trauma such as talking a walk or a bike ride,

·      limiting exposure to pictures or adult conversations of the event,

·      monitoring stimulus (maybe reconsidering attending some of those holiday parties),

·      doing mood “check ins.”  Parents may do this via a play activity with small children where the family to family charades to explore moods and prevent focusing on “negative” moods.

·      discussing the event if your child chooses. For smaller children, it’s important to use age-appropriate language, and pictures or play maybe most appropriate.

Parents want to make sure to follow a child’s lead in the conversation to avoid them from getting overwhelmed. Teens are often more able to verbally communicate though may feel agitated when a parent asks to many questions. As a parent, you likely know what your child has needed from you most to feel comforted in the past when they have been hurt. It’s wonderful to glean information from these previous experiences to assist them manage the current event.

Though stress reactions are usually brief and recover without further problems, a child or adolescent who has experienced a catastrophic event does have the possibility of developing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Signs that your child may be having difficulties include the following behaviors occurring for more than two weeks or if they increase in severity: 

• loss of interest in activities and isolation
• ongoing physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches
• ongoing extreme emotional reactions and sudden shifts in moods
• ongoing problems falling or staying asleep                  
•  problems concentrating or new school related concerns
• ongoing regression of age or intense fear of being alone
• ongoing increased alertness to the environment or inability to adapt in new environments
• repeating behavior or play themes that reminds them of the trauma
• worrying about dying or others

If your child exhibits these signs it does not necessarily indicate that your child has PTSD. However, it is recommended that parents and their child meet with a qualified professional to best assist in area of assessment and providing families increased tools to mobilize your child from a place of fear to happiness. 

Written by: Jessica Boldt, LICSW

Jessica Boldt is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma related work and clinical work with children and teens. She currently practices at  Integrative Trauma Treatment Center with locations in Portland, OR and Vancouver, WA.