Tuesday, April 3, 2012

"Am I Crazy? Because I feel crazy...."

In working with trauma survivors (as well as other presenting challenges such as anxiety or depression) the symptoms themselves often make clients feel crazy.  "Why am I living in the past?  What am I so scared/angry/sad right now-nothing is happening that is making me feel that way?  Why do I keep thinking about these things or having these thoughts over and over again?  Why can't I stop?"  These are questions, often presented in a state of exacerbation, that are posed to me regularly.  My response is "no, you are not crazy you are healthy!" I know that I have said this in different ways at various times, but I do view PTSD symptoms, in particular, as somewhat functional in that it seems to be the brains attempt to digest overwhelming material.  I think this could apply to other challenges in mental health as well.  For example, if we are struggling with anxiety, the symptoms (typically physical and coincide with a particular thought set) lead us down our treatment path.  The symptoms tell us precisely where the work lies; the identified fear (once it is identified by therapist and client; this can take a while sometimes) can also provide specific information about the person and their history.  In a larger sense, I wonder if many of the mental health issues that bring people into treatment fall under this umbrella-perhaps they are the body's attempt to recover and can tell us specifically what needs to happen to heal from old wounds.  Sometimes, with depression for example, these symptoms can occur following an injury to the body.  Clearly it is distressing to have our bodies hurt and this in itself can present something for us to chew on, but I also wonder if depression forces us to rest so our bodies can heal?  This is just a thought but I have this pressing curiosity about the function of our psychological ailments and what they tell us.  So, when PTSD symptoms overwhelm us, or anxiety or depression, I would argue that it is typically a sign of health and an attempt to heal.  The symptoms themselves may be trying to do that (a previous poster alluded to this concept as well).  If we had a non-response to something terrible, that would be a problem that would concern me far more than flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations, multiple personalities, or other constellations of symptoms.  So, no, you're not crazy at all :).

2 comments:

  1. Exactly. What is an appropriate response to being terrorized? Terrorizing symptoms is what. But, it is also my belief my mind and body are reacting this way to make damn sure it never happens again. So, I buy that it is the reason I remember now years later. I would have dealt with it earlier but my mind was protecting itself. It couldn't handle it then. It barely can now. But, those memories do help in detecting danger in the present. If there is one thing I've learned through all of it, I know shit when I smell it by now. And in case I forget where I've been...my mind seems to conjur up those PTSD symptoms to refreshen my memory.

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  2. Nicely put and thanks so much for your post. I definately couldn't have said it better. You touched upon the survivor "superpowers" (that's what I like to call them anyways); really having the capacity to read your environment and respond quickly. It would be nice for your symptoms not to terrorize you indefinately, of course, because that is exhausting. But that being said, you understand the cause of your experience and don't seem to be hard on yourself for it. Thank you again for sharing. I hope your symptoms will relax in the future and offer you a little room here and there for peace. Sounds to me like you have earned it. Best of luck to you. ~Athena

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