In celebration of both those who have endured and those who support them, Integrative Trauma Treatment Center will be offering gift certificates for survivors (of trauma, of physical injury or chronic illness, of child birth, or of just living) and healers (partners who have supported the healing process, medical professionals, mental health workers, first responders, international aid workers).
These will be available for single massage, acupuncture or reiki (or a blend). Packages will be offered at a discounted rate. Keep an out for more info on our Facebook page and we will be featured in the Willamette Weekly Gift Guide.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Facebook, Friends, Family, and Trauma; Navigating Social Media as a Survivor
Social media has become so interwoven into the details of our lives, turning our private (and occasionally mundane) thoughts into public domain. In order to remain connected not only socially, but professionally, Facebook and other forms of social media are less optional than subtly compulsory. Not surprisingly, Facebook is a topic of conversation in therapy for many clients. Navigating the cultural expectations for continuous connection and unbridled access to each other is a challenge for everyone; trauma survivors are confronted with another layer of consequences for communication (or a lack of communication) on social media.
Posts from "friends" can at times be insensitive, passive-aggressive, attention-seeking, or offensive. They can also pull a community together, offer inspirational quotes or commentary on what's important in life. Politics and religion are handled far less delicately than in the past (perhaps because the discussion isn't between people but rather Facebook can be a platform for expression). Handling polarized world views in a public forum gracefully is a skill that is currently under construction; we are building the foundation for this form of connection from the ground up.
Challenges that arise in therapy (or outside of it for that matter) include how to ignore or decline a friend request from someone, what the consequences may be in accepting it (i.e. bosses, colleagues, friends of enemies, family members, former romantic partners). Posting something on Facebook or Twitter has occasionally landed people in hot water with friends, family or partners; sometimes with intention and other times inadvertent. Navigating social media does require some degree of thought and attention for all of us; at least those of us concerned with minimizing strife.
Survivors of trauma are confronted with nuanced challenges under the social media umbrella. Filial relationships (particularly if the family of origin had members who were the source of trauma or failed to protect) are challenging outside of the Facebook context as well as within it. Questions surrounding which relationships to maintain, which to let go of, how to let go, and how to remain connected to some family members but not others is a topic of regular conversation (something to be discussed in Integrative Trauma Treatment Center's "Surviving Survival; Picking up the Pieces after Trauma" support group!). For those whose perpetrator was not a family member but was someone they new (this is more common than random crimes), should one "unfriend" all of those who surround the perpetrator? Does this empower the perpetrator and disempower the survivor? One of the quandaries here is that every time a friend "likes" or "comments" on a post of the perpetrator, this can be visible to the survivor. Facebook can be a source of trauma triggers while simultaneously being a source of social support and connection; a classic PTSD Catch 22. How does one remain connected and protected simultaneously?
A lot of the work we do in the recovery process surrounds boundaries. Sometimes I tell my clients that if this part of the work is done well, a sense of safety increases to the extent that symptoms decrease. The problem with social media is that it, almost by definition, makes it extremely difficult to have any boundaries. There is a sense that in setting limits or choosing not to engage social media, requires an explanation is and yet trauma is often so private. So....what to do? There obviously is not a clear answer. However, the skill of being less permeable without apology or explanation could be a potential focus. It is okay to say no to "friend" requests, to "unfriend" those who are not healthy connections, to "block" those who are not safe in the inner circle.
It could be argued that while social media is a connective tissue that threads through the fabric of our culture, some of it's concepts are great for setting limits around who has permission to be in our lives. Imagine if "unfriending" someone was as easy as clicking a button? Or, if someone wanted to connect with us who wasn't safe, that we "ignore" or "hide the request" from our awareness? What if we could just "block" those who have caused us harm or are connected to those who have caused us harm? These are actually fairly solid strategies for maintaining boundaries. Our vision can get clouded by people. If we can listen to our gut, be clear on who is safe and who isn't, who has something to contribute to our lives and who should have permission to witness the details of our days, social media could potentially offer a bit of clarity around boundaries. "Unfriending," "blocking," and "hiding requests" for friendship are strategies we could perhaps apply to relationships in "real life." If someone who wants access to us or has access that is not safe, has broken our trust, caused damage or is a conduit for others who cause harm, Facebook boundaries may be a viable protective strategy; the challenge is giving ourselves permission to say "no" and to say "good-bye."
Posts from "friends" can at times be insensitive, passive-aggressive, attention-seeking, or offensive. They can also pull a community together, offer inspirational quotes or commentary on what's important in life. Politics and religion are handled far less delicately than in the past (perhaps because the discussion isn't between people but rather Facebook can be a platform for expression). Handling polarized world views in a public forum gracefully is a skill that is currently under construction; we are building the foundation for this form of connection from the ground up.
Challenges that arise in therapy (or outside of it for that matter) include how to ignore or decline a friend request from someone, what the consequences may be in accepting it (i.e. bosses, colleagues, friends of enemies, family members, former romantic partners). Posting something on Facebook or Twitter has occasionally landed people in hot water with friends, family or partners; sometimes with intention and other times inadvertent. Navigating social media does require some degree of thought and attention for all of us; at least those of us concerned with minimizing strife.
Survivors of trauma are confronted with nuanced challenges under the social media umbrella. Filial relationships (particularly if the family of origin had members who were the source of trauma or failed to protect) are challenging outside of the Facebook context as well as within it. Questions surrounding which relationships to maintain, which to let go of, how to let go, and how to remain connected to some family members but not others is a topic of regular conversation (something to be discussed in Integrative Trauma Treatment Center's "Surviving Survival; Picking up the Pieces after Trauma" support group!). For those whose perpetrator was not a family member but was someone they new (this is more common than random crimes), should one "unfriend" all of those who surround the perpetrator? Does this empower the perpetrator and disempower the survivor? One of the quandaries here is that every time a friend "likes" or "comments" on a post of the perpetrator, this can be visible to the survivor. Facebook can be a source of trauma triggers while simultaneously being a source of social support and connection; a classic PTSD Catch 22. How does one remain connected and protected simultaneously?
A lot of the work we do in the recovery process surrounds boundaries. Sometimes I tell my clients that if this part of the work is done well, a sense of safety increases to the extent that symptoms decrease. The problem with social media is that it, almost by definition, makes it extremely difficult to have any boundaries. There is a sense that in setting limits or choosing not to engage social media, requires an explanation is and yet trauma is often so private. So....what to do? There obviously is not a clear answer. However, the skill of being less permeable without apology or explanation could be a potential focus. It is okay to say no to "friend" requests, to "unfriend" those who are not healthy connections, to "block" those who are not safe in the inner circle.
It could be argued that while social media is a connective tissue that threads through the fabric of our culture, some of it's concepts are great for setting limits around who has permission to be in our lives. Imagine if "unfriending" someone was as easy as clicking a button? Or, if someone wanted to connect with us who wasn't safe, that we "ignore" or "hide the request" from our awareness? What if we could just "block" those who have caused us harm or are connected to those who have caused us harm? These are actually fairly solid strategies for maintaining boundaries. Our vision can get clouded by people. If we can listen to our gut, be clear on who is safe and who isn't, who has something to contribute to our lives and who should have permission to witness the details of our days, social media could potentially offer a bit of clarity around boundaries. "Unfriending," "blocking," and "hiding requests" for friendship are strategies we could perhaps apply to relationships in "real life." If someone who wants access to us or has access that is not safe, has broken our trust, caused damage or is a conduit for others who cause harm, Facebook boundaries may be a viable protective strategy; the challenge is giving ourselves permission to say "no" and to say "good-bye."
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Healing through Experience and the Limitations of Talk Therapy
Clearly I am in invested in psychotherapy as an avenue towards healing. I enjoy providing a safe, open space for people to recover from trauma, address mood related concerns, or dissociative symptoms (for example). We can offer skills, help increase mindfulness around unwelcome patterns of thought or behavior, process traumatic memories, and help navigate internal narratives about self and the world. I have often felt that it can be a struggle to facilitate a connection between the reasons clients have sought therapy (depression, anxiety, PTSD, dissociation, stress) and the experiences that may have fostered what may characterize their struggle. When exposed to a traumatic event, we don't often have the conscious thought "I am helpless" or "It's my fault." Those struggling with depression may believe they are not good enough or feel worthless, while those with anxiety may feel pulled towards perfectionism in order to feel in control. These are typically subconscious, unarticulated beliefs that therapy can help pull from the back of the brain to the front, increasing the opportunity to renegotiate such narratives. Without minimizing the value of this, sometimes it doesn't seem to be enough.
Adding homework assignments to someone who is depressed or telling an anxious person not to avoid something they fear is easier said than done and can cause people to feel badly about themselves because they just didn't have the strength to do it on their own. What I want to do is to stop talking about it with my clients and offer opportunities for a different kind of experience. Our thoughts are a reflection of our experiences, so why not start there? There does seem to be some nods towards utilizing experience as a healing tool (such as with somatic therapies or psychodrama). In my group practice, we have started to play with various approaches to inviting the body to be part of the healing process. The more I think about this concept, the more I play with it, the more I realize the body could be a missing link. I know I am not the first one to think about this (Peter Levine, Pat Ogden). I guess the difference is that I would like to offer experiential healing in a lot of different ways. These are some of the things we are doing now:
1. Acupuncture, Massage, & Reiki in adjunct with Psychotherapy: All of these are intended to calm the central nervous system for those who are fearful, anxious, or hypervigilant. They can also help to invigorate those struggling with depression or to offer the experience of nurturance and safe touch.
2. Equine Therapy in adjunct with Psychotherapy: This has been such a profound and beautiful experience for me as a therapist. Watching my clients who have specific phobias (being up high, being in a group) or who are very protective of themselves find comfort through working with an animal has been a gift. There are moments I will never forget in this work, and those moments were those where the experience underneath of a negative belief (i.e. "I am not safe) is challenged through doing (versus thinking).
3. Yoga: We aren't there yet, but I'm working on finding a trauma sensitive yoga practitioner. This would provide an opportunity to do something physical in a safe environment. An active body and meditation have so many mental health benefits that I can't list them all here.
There are so many other concrete ways one can begin to challenge negative beliefs or expectations of others/the world around us. I hope to continue to expand opportunities to address mental health concerns outside of the therapy office.
Athena H Phillips, LCSW
Owner/Therapist
Integrative Trauma Treatment Center
www.traumacenternw.com
Adding homework assignments to someone who is depressed or telling an anxious person not to avoid something they fear is easier said than done and can cause people to feel badly about themselves because they just didn't have the strength to do it on their own. What I want to do is to stop talking about it with my clients and offer opportunities for a different kind of experience. Our thoughts are a reflection of our experiences, so why not start there? There does seem to be some nods towards utilizing experience as a healing tool (such as with somatic therapies or psychodrama). In my group practice, we have started to play with various approaches to inviting the body to be part of the healing process. The more I think about this concept, the more I play with it, the more I realize the body could be a missing link. I know I am not the first one to think about this (Peter Levine, Pat Ogden). I guess the difference is that I would like to offer experiential healing in a lot of different ways. These are some of the things we are doing now:
1. Acupuncture, Massage, & Reiki in adjunct with Psychotherapy: All of these are intended to calm the central nervous system for those who are fearful, anxious, or hypervigilant. They can also help to invigorate those struggling with depression or to offer the experience of nurturance and safe touch.
2. Equine Therapy in adjunct with Psychotherapy: This has been such a profound and beautiful experience for me as a therapist. Watching my clients who have specific phobias (being up high, being in a group) or who are very protective of themselves find comfort through working with an animal has been a gift. There are moments I will never forget in this work, and those moments were those where the experience underneath of a negative belief (i.e. "I am not safe) is challenged through doing (versus thinking).
3. Yoga: We aren't there yet, but I'm working on finding a trauma sensitive yoga practitioner. This would provide an opportunity to do something physical in a safe environment. An active body and meditation have so many mental health benefits that I can't list them all here.
There are so many other concrete ways one can begin to challenge negative beliefs or expectations of others/the world around us. I hope to continue to expand opportunities to address mental health concerns outside of the therapy office.
Athena H Phillips, LCSW
Owner/Therapist
Integrative Trauma Treatment Center
www.traumacenternw.com
Monday, June 30, 2014
Survey: What would you want your physician to know (or not know) about your mental health?
In preparation for a presentation to a group of physicians in August on the topic of mental health in a primary care setting, the wheels have started turning on what the "patient" perspective might be. There is a significant push towards coordination of care between disciplines, which clearly is beneficial in many ways. From my perspective, coordination of care can mean advocating for sensitivity and communication during medical appointments. Clients reflect a reluctance to go to the doctor because of mental health concerns. One might feel judged because of a struggle with addiction, because depression makes it difficult to get to the doctor or even make an appointment, or trauma makes doctor or dental visits frightening, for example. I realized that as I prepare, I too may be making assumptions about how medicine is experienced by those who are struggling with mental health. So....
I propose a question: What are some things you would like to share with your physician but don't out of fear or in effort of showing respect (or something else)? What are things you hide from your physician? What would help you be more transparent in a medical setting?
If you respond, please leave out identifying information.
If you don't respond, it's okay!
I propose a question: What are some things you would like to share with your physician but don't out of fear or in effort of showing respect (or something else)? What are things you hide from your physician? What would help you be more transparent in a medical setting?
If you respond, please leave out identifying information.
If you don't respond, it's okay!
Horses & Happiness; Equine Therapy and Recovery
Our last equine event was one of my most memorable professional experiences. Witnessing the courage of working through trauma, anxiety, and self-criticism or judgement in such a safe way was a great gift (and by that I mean a gift for me!). It made me realize some of the limitations of regular talk therapy because the experiential component is missing. Building trust between human and horse while simultaneously building a sense of agency was different to watch out there in the world versus working through it in session. This is not to say that psychotherapy is ineffective, because it isn't. There is a relationship there that is quite unique and facilitates growth in it's own way; this was just different. So, that being said, I hope to offer this group monthly (more if there is enough demand). Right now our next group is on July 30th at 10am. Our website is www.traumacenternw.com. Contact us if you are interested :)
Sunday, May 11, 2014
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Eleanor Roosevelt was a rockstar....
This quote made me think about when I do feel inferior and how I may have aligned myself with whomever instigated that response in me.
That's all...
This quote made me think about when I do feel inferior and how I may have aligned myself with whomever instigated that response in me.
That's all...
Saturday, May 10, 2014
A thought...
Failure is nothing to concern ourselves with. Rather, opportunities lost to fear are treasures that slip through our fingers that may not present themselves a second time. Take a chance. Dance with optimism and let go of attachment to outcome. .... ~Athena
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Massage, Acupuncture, & Mental Health
After watching the relationship between the mental health and the body be conceived as somehow distinctive from each other and thus the assumption is to treat them as separate entities, I thought it might be interesting to offer adjunctive treatments to folks. When I opened Integrative Trauma Treatment Center, that was a large factor in what drove the design of our model. We have massage therapy, acupuncture, medication management and psychotherapy available in one location. These services can be utilized together or a la carte. The goal is to provide a safe place for folks to get body work done, where they know their practitioners will tune in to them and have a nurturing but empowering presence. I also wanted to acknowledge the despair, suffering, and isolation that can go with trauma, depression, anxiety, or other mental heath concerns and to create a community that was open, welcoming, playful, and safe. A place for people to spoil themselves. I suspected that clients would appreciate it. I knew I liked the concept. What I didn't expect is how I feel comforted by the fact that there is a team working with me and my clients in their process. I am not only surrounded by other like-minded therapists, but other practitioners who can approach the same challenges from different angles. This provides me with a safety net that I appreciate so much and did not expect that I would feel comforted by them. I feel less isolated as well. Hopefully, the gift to me as equally meaningful to those who visit ITTC.
An Art-Based Restorative Workshop for Survivors
Up & Coming: A Saturday Workshop for Women with Athena Phillips, LCSW & Jessica Boldt, LCSW. This is for survivors of trauma and will be an art-based resiliency & restoration workshop that will likely take place towards the end of June. Contact ITTC to add your name to the interest list! Number of participants will be limited to 8.
Equine Facilitated Trust, Safety & Self-Esteem: A small group experience for trauma survivors & horses!
ITTC is partnering with Happy Trails Riding Center to offer two brief classes on Equine Facilitated Trust, Safety, & Self-Esteem. This is a small group experience for Trauma Survivors to build trust in themselves, to regulate emotion through connection, and foster a positive sense of self. Also, it's just fun to hang out with horses! June 7th at 10am and 11am. Please contact ITTC to register. There are only 6 spots available!
Sunday, April 20, 2014
DID & Authenticity
Dissociative Identity
Disorder
&
The Question of
Authenticity
Many
of us find ourselves contemplating the question of “who am I” at some point or
another; perhaps we are pursuant of a spiritual connection to our place in the
universe or may be hoping to connect with ourselves veritably. Evaluating the
supposition of authenticity highlights the fact that fidelity to self is
layered and complex. The
foundation is characterized by a knowing; awareness of internal strata and
facets of one’s constitution. Secondary
to knowing is acceptance of one’s characteristics; only with knowledge and
acceptance of who we are can we begin to navigate our relationship to the world
around us. Presenting ourselves genuinely without fear or regret is risky and
requires significant ego strength; the venture of rejection of true self is
more painful than that of a disingenuous self. Relating to others in a real way while being accepted
simultaneously is a challenge for all of us; individuals with Dissociative
Identity Disorder (DID) are faced with a normal question that is complicated by
multiplicity (and it’s functions).
The
basal layer of authenticity poses a problem to dissociative individuals; the
function of fragmenting can be to hide selves from the self. Presupposing this is a protective
process, how does one connect to who they are if overwhelming information is
held in the answer to the question? Parts or “alters” are often hidden from
view or are “behind the curtain” of consciousness in order to protect the rest
of the system. Self-awareness can
seem commensurate to emotional gambling.
The
second layer of authenticity requires acceptance. Assuming trauma is the
etiological base behind DID, acknowledgement of some alters can feel parallel
to an acceptance of unacceptable events.
Protective alters who hold anger, self-injure, engage in addictive, or
violent behavior are often completely rejected by the rest of the internal
system. Child alters (who often
hold the traumatic memories) are sometimes viewed by the rest of the system as
pathetic, shameful and weak.
Managerial alters do find external belonging, but become fatigued from
their overwhelming task of hiding and pushing for success. Recognition of a
fragmented identity may equate to acceptance of the past, acceptance of a
controversial diagnosis, and acceptance of an experience that many people will
find challenging to connect to.
A
common theme that arises in working with DID reflects this quandary; how can I
be myself if my self changes?. Essentially this is a logistical question; how
does one establish an authentic connection to the outside world when it feels
like one’s demographics are in flux? Age, gender, and race are significant
determinants of who we relate with and how relationships develop. Small children like to play in very
different ways than teens or adults do; men develop different relationships
with women than they do with men and adolescents think adults are ridiculous.
What if you are male sometimes, a five year-old at other times, or an adolescent
girl at others? This is an
experiential truth for those with DID and it is very unclear as to how to be
real and accepted under the umbrella of fragmentation.
When
asked the question of how to relate to others in a way that feels real, my
response is likely fairly inadequate.
I can only acknowledge the reality that DID is difficult even for some
mental health professionals to accept (although research is making this more
and more challenging); friends, family members, co-workers, and strangers are
even less prepared to navigate such relationships. There is truth in this experience and I have not discovered
the right answer to living authentically in a world that is accustomed to and
expects continuity. It could
be argued that we all are multi-faceted and are accustomed to disguising our
vulnerability or less acceptable components of personality. Authenticity is a
collective challenge, although it is a far more complex aspiration for those
whose experience of who they are is relatively fluid. Someone who lives with alters may say that in order to be
genuine, they may require acknowledgement of all parts of self, to accept them,
and to interact with the world from varying perspectives.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Things I've Learned from my Clients This Week...
I wish I had more time to write....I learn so many things from the people I work with and am so grateful for that. What struck me this week, and I can say I think about this with some regularity, is that there is so much more than meets the eye~people are very layered and complex. Everyone has a story. I do the work that I do because I want to know what that story is. I want to understand the the composition of a person, how they became who they are. Occasionally I am confronted with the fact that I may have a preconceived notion of who someone is without awareness of that until they show me how wrong I am. These notions or assumptions of capability, history, intelligence, knowledge base, have significant influence over the subtleties of our interactions; they interfere with our ability to see what someone really brings to the table. If I want to know someone's story, I can't allow my narrative about them to interfere with their telling of it. The strata of each individual is exposed only with curiosity and safety; what blocks sharing often times is not in who sits across from me but rather what is in my own mind. Typically, I am inclined to idealize my clients. I authentically feel honored to work with them, touched by what they share with me, and curious about how things will unfold in their lives. I think it takes a lot of guts to walk into someone's office and tell them very personal and painful things. These are people I have a lot of regard for. While that is nice, it's still my own narrative that I have developed about them and will at some point in our work interfere. So, what was emphasized for me this week was the value of a clean canvas that is filled in with the color of someone else's perspective; I need to keep my hands off the paintbrush.
Friday, February 15, 2013
DID support group Start Date Changed
The DID Experience group has changed the start date to next Wednesday. It will be an open group so participants can start after that date. Every other Wednesday at 2pm.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The DID Experience Group Starts February 13th
The experience of Dissociative Identity Disorder is often doubted by both individuals with DID as well as those who treat it. I am starting a group whose primary focus is to provide a forum to share and listen to others who live in two worlds (an internal and external world). We will talk about the integration versus co-consciousness debate, share the construction of internal lives and structures, talk about switching and internal rules. This will be a safe, non-judgemental forum for people to share their experience.
Group information:
Starts Wednesday February 13th from 2-3pm.
Every other Wednesday to start (we will adjust this if group members want to come more regularly).
Cost: 30- per session.
I am able to bill health insurance for those who have coverage.
Participants must be working with a therapist actively in order to be eligible.
Contact me at athena@traumacenternw.com or 503.819.4181.
Thanks!
Group information:
Starts Wednesday February 13th from 2-3pm.
Every other Wednesday to start (we will adjust this if group members want to come more regularly).
Cost: 30- per session.
I am able to bill health insurance for those who have coverage.
Participants must be working with a therapist actively in order to be eligible.
Contact me at athena@traumacenternw.com or 503.819.4181.
Thanks!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Group
Drew Prochniak, one of my staff, is going to offer a mindfulness-based stress reduction group beginning in mid-January. View our website to email him for more information. www.traumacenternw.com.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Craving the Mundane
Anytime something that shakes us up happens, we crave the return to the mundane. It is so comforting to engage with what we don't think about, perhaps because trauma can consume what feels like every inch of our cognitive and emotional capacity. The smells associated with simplicity can bring feelings of warmth and comfort; coffee in the morning, our bed linens, the smell of our children (okay these are the things that comfort me). All things home and familiar are what we want most when confronted with disaster. Perhaps this is part of the draw of isolation for survivors; avoiding the outside world keeps us connected to comfort. Predictability is a form of fortune telling; if I know what happens in the next few hours or days, things will be fine. At least it feels that way.
The mundane, the boring, the thoughtless and otherwise seemingly empty parts of our lives are actually so profound. This is what we are drawn to in response to the unbearable. I find myself thinking of this anytime my mind wanders to Newtown. Newtown followed a violent public shooting here in Oregon, thus the locals here were managing two atrocities in two days. As I go to each event in my mind, particularly to the children, almost immediately I want the comfort of my routine, of what and who is familiar. This is a major source of regulation of emotion. Recent events are highlighting the significance of what we rely on for comfort.
Many of the advice givers (myself included) advise re-engaging with routine following tragedy, although there isn't much examination or discussion as to why. Perhaps examination is unnecessary because our pursuit of the familiar is so intuitive; we needn't be told to do that because it's what we want to do.
Thus, the predictable return to the strengths and resilience of people and trauma survivors... Survivors know what to do to feel better much of the time, and if it isn't clear what to do, there is often a persistence of trying to figure it out. Sometimes the answer to this particular question (what to do to feel better) leads to addiction, to avoidance, or other forms of escape. Sometimes, if we stick with our pursuit of the mundane, we are lead back to it through a meandering, undefined path that demands our trust in our own capacity.
The mundane, the boring, the thoughtless and otherwise seemingly empty parts of our lives are actually so profound. This is what we are drawn to in response to the unbearable. I find myself thinking of this anytime my mind wanders to Newtown. Newtown followed a violent public shooting here in Oregon, thus the locals here were managing two atrocities in two days. As I go to each event in my mind, particularly to the children, almost immediately I want the comfort of my routine, of what and who is familiar. This is a major source of regulation of emotion. Recent events are highlighting the significance of what we rely on for comfort.
Many of the advice givers (myself included) advise re-engaging with routine following tragedy, although there isn't much examination or discussion as to why. Perhaps examination is unnecessary because our pursuit of the familiar is so intuitive; we needn't be told to do that because it's what we want to do.
Thus, the predictable return to the strengths and resilience of people and trauma survivors... Survivors know what to do to feel better much of the time, and if it isn't clear what to do, there is often a persistence of trying to figure it out. Sometimes the answer to this particular question (what to do to feel better) leads to addiction, to avoidance, or other forms of escape. Sometimes, if we stick with our pursuit of the mundane, we are lead back to it through a meandering, undefined path that demands our trust in our own capacity.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Link to Oregonian article ITTC is mentioned in
http://blog.oregonlive.com/themombeat/2012/12/clackamas_town_center_shooting_1.html
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Connecticut, Grief, and Hope, & What My Clients Have Taught Me
I have a six, almost seven year-old boy. His eyes are big and brown; his lashes long and luxurious. He calls me "mama" in his sweet voice, and each time I hear him say it I feel warmth in my heart. I look at him now and wonder so many things that I am certain everyone is wondering too; how does one disturb that kind of innocence, ignore it, destroy it? And the pain the parents in CT are left with seems unbearable. I have to grieve with them and for them and recognize what kind of risk one takes in loving someone in that way (a risk well worth it). So, like many others, I find myself searching for something~information, understanding, insight, and most certainly I would like some hope for those in the midst of such unbearable grief and horror.
I hear a lot of stories in the work that I do. So many things that seem insurmountable, and yet, day after day I see my clients and listen to them tell me their stories. It's a thing I have said before~that trauma survivors are heroes. That doesn't mean there is no suffering or grief, that recovery is easy, and I wouldn't be so naive as to say that time heals all wounds. However, what I continue to learn from them is that each person, within the context of their own experience, is in those moments of horror, coping with it in some way. The coping isn't visible-we learn of it later when words can be paired up with events. Part of the truth I hear from survivors, over and over, is how they survived...what they did on the inside to manage what was happening on the outside. My little tidbit of hope is that for each and every victim and survivor of a victim there is and was coping. There is family, there is community, there is an entire nation grieving with them, and there is no doubt of the gravity of their pain.
Essentially, what I hope to remind myself of is that thing I have learned in the work I do; that we do have a capacity to care for ourselves in nuanced ways. It's difficult to talk about hope without sounding as though I don't understand or that I am naive. Perhaps this is my own coping~I can't be certain. I can, however speak to what I have seen and be thankful to those who have invited me into their lives. There is some light in having felt the truth of the human spirit's capacity to save itself in the face of the unspeakable.
I hear a lot of stories in the work that I do. So many things that seem insurmountable, and yet, day after day I see my clients and listen to them tell me their stories. It's a thing I have said before~that trauma survivors are heroes. That doesn't mean there is no suffering or grief, that recovery is easy, and I wouldn't be so naive as to say that time heals all wounds. However, what I continue to learn from them is that each person, within the context of their own experience, is in those moments of horror, coping with it in some way. The coping isn't visible-we learn of it later when words can be paired up with events. Part of the truth I hear from survivors, over and over, is how they survived...what they did on the inside to manage what was happening on the outside. My little tidbit of hope is that for each and every victim and survivor of a victim there is and was coping. There is family, there is community, there is an entire nation grieving with them, and there is no doubt of the gravity of their pain.
Essentially, what I hope to remind myself of is that thing I have learned in the work I do; that we do have a capacity to care for ourselves in nuanced ways. It's difficult to talk about hope without sounding as though I don't understand or that I am naive. Perhaps this is my own coping~I can't be certain. I can, however speak to what I have seen and be thankful to those who have invited me into their lives. There is some light in having felt the truth of the human spirit's capacity to save itself in the face of the unspeakable.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Tips for parental response to community-based trauma
In response to the shooting on Tuesday (12.11.12) at Clackamas Town Center, one of my staff, Jessica Boldt, LICSW, wrote an article on ways in which parents can help their kids & teens recover. I have cut and pasted it below:
Traumatic events, such as the tragic account at Clackamas,
impact all of us in unique ways including children and teens. Parents are often
worried regarding the affect it will have on their child and are unsure as to
how to help them. We hope that this information will assist parents feel
relieved in having concrete tools to assist support their child during this
time, and know the one may exhibit that indicate a need for greater resources.
An important thing to remember is that youth are often
highly resilient even after extreme duress. A child or adolescent’s reaction to
stress, even catastrophic, is usually brief in duration and symptoms of trauma
are often a healthy indicator of one’s efforts to stabilize. Parents should
also consider that the impact may affect teens in a unique way as the mall is
often viewed as a safe place for youth, and one that represents belonging and
socialization. It’s likely helpful
for teens to process with other peers and discuss how this event likely altered
the perception of this meeting place they find comfort in. Teens should be
encouraged to visit the mall when they, and parents feel stable enough to cope
with the “triggers” of the event. Teens are also likely to feel strong and
secure in numbers, so going to the mall with another teen may be encouraged.
Also, making “baby steps” into this environment is something that may assist a
teen with feelings of anxiety. For example, making the first trip with friends
to one store may be more manageable for a teen that wants to go to the mall,
but is having some reservation.
It’s also important to note that teens may want to go directly back into
the mall environment, which may be their way of healing. Whatever process your
child feels comfortable in, make consistent efforts to monitor behavior and
mood and discuss their best efforts to move forward.
Directly following trauma, it is expected that children and
teens may exhibit agitated or confused behavior. They also may show
through behavior, play, or in verbal communication intense fear, helplessness,
anger, sadness, horror or avoidance. Parents may experience their child having
increase in behavioral outbursts, mood swings, fear of being alone or “clingy”
behavior, or isolation. While seeing your child in these states can be difficult,
these are indicators that one is working to process the event.
While a parent cannot “make the event go away,” a parent can
assist the child work through their feelings by maintaining the child’s
structure. The child needs to regain their sense of safety and parents are the
best at doing that. Parents are able to do this by:
· following
the household daily routine
· gentle
encouragement to participate in their normative activities to assist them
regain normalcy
· engagement
with positive supports such as family and teachers,
· practicing
self-care for themselves to assure emotional and mental stability with them,
providing positive outlets to discharge some of the energy following trauma
such as talking a walk or a bike ride,
· limiting
exposure to pictures or adult conversations of the event,
· monitoring
stimulus (maybe reconsidering attending some of those holiday parties),
· doing
mood “check ins.” Parents may do
this via a play activity with small children where the family to family
charades to explore moods and prevent focusing on “negative” moods.
· discussing
the event if your child chooses. For smaller children, it’s important to use
age-appropriate language, and pictures or play maybe most appropriate.
Parents want to make sure to follow a child’s lead in the
conversation to avoid them from getting overwhelmed. Teens are often more able
to verbally communicate though may feel agitated when a parent asks to many
questions. As a parent, you likely know what your child has needed from you
most to feel comforted in the past when they have been hurt. It’s wonderful to
glean information from these previous experiences to assist them manage the
current event.
Though
stress reactions are usually brief and recover without further problems, a
child or adolescent who has experienced a catastrophic event does have the
possibility of developing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Signs that
your child may be having difficulties include the following behaviors occurring
for more than two weeks or if they increase in severity:
- loss of interest in
activities and isolation
- ongoing physical symptoms
such as headaches and stomachaches
- ongoing extreme emotional
reactions and sudden shifts in moods
- ongoing problems falling or
staying
asleep
- problems concentrating
or new school related concerns
- ongoing regression of age or
intense fear of being alone
- ongoing increased alertness
to the environment or inability to adapt in new environments
- repeating behavior or play
themes that reminds them of the trauma
- worrying about dying or
others
If
your child exhibits these signs it does not necessarily indicate that your
child has PTSD. However, it is recommended that parents and their child meet
with a qualified professional to best assist in area of assessment and
providing families increased tools to mobilize your child from a place of fear
to happiness.
Written
by: Jessica Boldt, LICSW
Jessica Boldt is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in
trauma related work and clinical work with children and teens. She currently
practices at Integrative Trauma
Treatment Center with locations in Portland, OR and Vancouver, WA. Thursday, December 6, 2012
Trauma Center is Open!
Finally, all has come together and we are good to go. I have two amazing staff people, Jessica Boldt, LICSW and Drew Prochniak, LPC who share my passion for working with survivors and who definitely keep me on my toes. Our website is up and running (and is gorgeous-I must say)~the address is www.traumacenternw.com.
I wanted to create a place that is warm and has a non-clinical atmosphere and that works from an authentic place of respect, honor and optimism. I also wanted to have a micro and macro perspective on the work that we do, specifically in treating people individually but also expanding to national and international disaster relief and trauma treatment. I also want to continue to develop our community partnerships, to provide advocacy, and education to the community.
Some upcoming offerings likely this winter:
Street Yoga for Survivors
Relapse Prevention for Survivors
Seeking Safety Group
and we'll see what else!
I wanted to create a place that is warm and has a non-clinical atmosphere and that works from an authentic place of respect, honor and optimism. I also wanted to have a micro and macro perspective on the work that we do, specifically in treating people individually but also expanding to national and international disaster relief and trauma treatment. I also want to continue to develop our community partnerships, to provide advocacy, and education to the community.
Some upcoming offerings likely this winter:
Street Yoga for Survivors
Relapse Prevention for Survivors
Seeking Safety Group
and we'll see what else!
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